The story of the 30 hours spent on bus

From Vietnam to Laos, with love and angst

Ladies and gentleman, as you know we are going around the world sampling some of the the worst bus rides to bring you the best of the worst ones. The ride from Hanoi, the capital of Vietnam to Luang Prabang, is one such fine rides that deserve a mention on our blog. This ride is the winner of our quest to find the most the torturous and traumatic experience on a night bus. We suggest discretion in reading this post, for you will often shudder to think that it could be you on the bus.

Look the paparazzi is here : Friendly locals on board the bus to Luang Prabang
Look the paparazzi is here : Friendly locals on board the bus to Luang Prabang

This is not just the finest but definitely also the longest among all bus rides brought to us from hell so far. If you have been suicidal for a while and don’t know what to do with your life, this is just the thing for you to do. Uncertain and full of surprises, as life itself, you will keep guessing when you are leaving and where you are being taken to. Often you will find yourself sitting and waiting, watching the hours pass and wondering why both, your life and bus, are not moving forward and where the hell on Earth are you. But then you realize it is two in the night and in the epic Scarlett O’hara way you will tell yourself, I will worry about it tomorrow for tomorrow is another day. And then you will toss around in the ultra (un)comfortable seats purposely kept short to squeeze your toes (making you want to chop off your limbs) and narrow to allow more human to human contact by bringing you closer to the fellow passenger you will be practically lying down with the whole journey. As if this is not enough, you will be seated (placed) next to the aisle which will constantly be the room for action as goods (and people) will be dumped in and out of it all the way long.

 

Try my patience: the jam that kept us waiting for 4 hours
Try my patience: the jam that kept us waiting for 4 hours

If and when you (ofcourse you most certainly will!) reach the border you will ask the bigger questions in life again – What is it that I did wrong? There at the border, amidst all the bureaucratic proceedings, you will realise that there are more important businesses to be dealt with than just immigration and that life is not all about you. It is about others too. You must stop being selfish and be patient, for God and immigration officers work in mysterious ways. You will learn to wait out your turn, first in the immigration queue and then in the long traffic jam that your humble bus did n’t cause but rather the huge trucks coming from the other side caused by choking the lane. Size does matter you realise and give up – another one of the other big lessons in life. You should have done those push ups and built those muscles , you think.

Dad was right. Photography is something you do when there is nothing else to do.
Dad was right. Photography is something you do when there is nothing else to do.

And then you are hungry. Of course, you have been in the bus for far too long. Or maybe not? It’s been 17 hours but it only feels like yesterday. Maybe it was yesterday that you had your last meal. You must eat now. What is that thing on the rotisserie – dog or pork? Dog or pork? Dog or pork? You ask this question to all the locals around. Like crazy you go asking “Dog or pork? Dog or pork?” No one answers but in the typical Lao way they smile and nod their heads like they know what you are going through but can do nothing about it.  You realise it doesn’t matter if it is dog or pork because you can’t eat either dog or pork? With  that you return to the bus and sit, sorry lie down on your seat/shelf.

Dog or pork? Dog or pork? Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
Dog or pork? Dog or pork? Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

One more time you ask your bus driver what time you will get to Luang Prabang. His yellow teeth gleam and he shows “seven” on the watch. You don’t believe him. But at least he was kind enough to hide the truth. No, you are not getting there by seven because the driver decides to stop for another four hours along the way for a long lunch and some more passengers.

What time you will actually reach? You stop speculating because you realise some answers don’t matter. Only time can tell. You again toss and turn and find a comfortable position to lie down in and sleep away. When at 11 in the night they tell you, it is Luang Prabang you don’t believe your ears and you don’t believe them! How can you have arrived in Luang Prabang, you thought you were never going to arrive! But thank God, you realised, all good things come to an end and so did this ride.

The hoax city Luang Prabang
Are we there yet?

This bus journey is the stuff that bucket lists are made of. An adventure of a lifetime, something you do only once in life because who will be stupid enough to do it twice. Ladies and gentleman, we bring to you the mother of all bus rides. So pick up that rucksack and board the bus to Luang Prabang from Hanoi.

About Empty Ruck Sack

Empty Rucksack travelers is an attempt to bring together many wonderful stories of career breaks, long term vacations and great travel destinations together at one place. The posts authored by Empty Rucksack Travelers are put together by Vikram and Ishwinder, an Indian couple out on a long term travel to find that perfect place in the world where they may want to stay forever.

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8 comments

  1. Haha 😀 the last picture is very cute! And wow man true to your name you guys have a very innovative traveling going on there. Me jealous. I have Travel week on at my blog, had I know before I would have made you guys write something for me! I stumbled upon Neeraj’s blog a while back too. Sunday is a fruitful day man!

  2. hehehe…this post made our parents more worried than jealous…keep coming back for more. We will have something new for you every Sunday 🙂

  3. That is something unique, bus rides around the world!
    This one was a bit scary for me.

  4. Indrani, I will tell you what I told my mother-in-law as well. It is not as bad as we make it look. It was fun and highly recommended over taking flights, any day.

  5. what a ride!!!!

    I guess I don’t have it in me at present to do this!!

    http://www.myunfinishedlife.com

  6. Now that is an irresistible invitation – to run as fast as you can in the other direction 🙂

    Btw, Was it really? Luang Prabang? 🙂

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